How Other People Experience You is Not Up to You…

Kassandra Vaughn
4 min readDec 2, 2023

It’s one of the hardest life lessons I’ve had to learn… and also one of the most important spiritual classrooms I’ve spent a great deal of time in.

And I was reminded of this lesson while watching a scene from Netflix’s Queen Charlotte. In the scene, two of Queen Charlotte’s children tell her that she wasn’t a good mother… to which she was highly offended and asserted the fact that, indeed, she had been the greatest of mothers… only her children did not agree. They were one family experiencing Charlotte’s motherhood in completely different ways… and it reminded me of the lesson.

You can do everything in your power to shape the way others see you. You can talk a certain way, act a certain way, be overly kind and gracious, and go out of your way to be there for those who only call you when they need something.

You can give your children the sun and the moon… or give them absolutely nothing and treat them as if they don’t exist. You can give up your dreams to take care of an ailing parent or your postpone your career to attempt to save a failing marriage. You can turn yourself inside out, all in the name of pleasing people who, in fact, may never be pleased enough with you no matter what you do.

You can do all of that… and still come to the same stark reality:

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Kassandra Vaughn

* Mindset Coach | Author | Soon-to-be Therapist * On a mission to help women 40 and above rebuild their self-worth & reclaim their power.