Great Coaches Aren’t Perfect. They’re Real…

Kassandra Vaughn
3 min readJan 9, 2023

The coaching industry is filled with a number of things. Shame is one of them.

If I told you the number of new coaches who feel insecure, unsure, and ill-prepared to do the one thing they feel most called to do, you’d be shocked… and the source of this sense of what I’ll call coaching unworthiness is something VERY FEW people in the coaching industry want to talk about:

Shame.

There’s this glamorous portrayal of coaches coming from the self-help and personal development world, a portrayal that involves the ‘big name’ coaches in the industry- coaches who’ve spent the last ten to thirty years showing people that it’s up to them to live their best lives, that anything is possible and that everything they want exists on the other side of fear.

Sound familiar?

But, in all of this pump-you-up and take-action-now talk, what’s not being talked about is this:

The coaching industry is bloated with platitudes and oppressive with shame.

There’s an undercurrent of toxic positivity that has filled the coaching industry, a strand of “You can do anything” without the grounded, inclusive message of “It’s more complex than that.”

At the same time, there’s this hidden sense of shame, that in order to back up the “Be your best Self!” message, every coach has got to live up to that standard first.

How unreal is that?

And here’s the reality: No one’s living in their purpose, in their passion, on fire, totally optimistic, and winning winning winning ALL OF THE TIME… No one…

Here’s the other reality: A great coach doesn’t have to be perfect in every area of their lives- not before they become a coach, not while they coach, and not after they’re done coaching… And, yet, the industry has built up this image that great coaches have to have their entire lives figured out. Not so…

Coaches are human beings- flawed, imperfect individuals who fail just like everyone else. Coaches are people who’ve experienced amazing wins and tremendous failures. To hold a coach to an absurd standard of perfection would be like expecting a doctor to never have health issues. It’s not possible…

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Kassandra Vaughn

* Mindset Coach | Author | Soon-to-be Therapist * On a mission to help women 30 and above rebuild their self-worth & reclaim their power.