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Are You Being Fearlessly Authentic… or Insecurely Compliant?

Kassandra Vaughn
3 min readApr 22, 2024

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The other day, I was reading an email from Elle Russ, author of Confident as Fu*k: How to Ditch Bad Vibes, Clean Up Your Past, and Cultivate Confidence in Order to Make Your Dreams a Reality, and she said something that struck me:

“People-pleasing is, in essence, a form of dishonesty. It’s presenting a version of yourself that’s designed to appease others, rather than reflecting your true thoughts, feelings, and desires. If you find yourself habitually agreeing just to avoid conflict or to be liked, remember: you’re not doing yourself or anyone else any favors.”

Later in the email, she went even further:

“Let’s face it: confident, self-assured individuals don’t feel the need to distort reality to win approval. They understand that being honest might not always please everyone, but it’s the only way to form genuine, respectful relationships and have clear communication.”

And here’s the question I’ve started asking myself (and I’d like you to ask yourself) as I engage in communication and collaboration with others (especially in difficult or crucial conversations):

Am I being fearlessly authentic… or insecurely compliant?

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Kassandra Vaughn
Kassandra Vaughn

Written by Kassandra Vaughn

I help people develop resilience, cultivate grit and get consistent with taking DMA (Daily Massive Action). Start here. https://tinyurl.com/mactiong

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