7 Signs You’re Emotionally Overinvesting in Toxic Friendships

Kassandra Vaughn
4 min readJan 22, 2023

Are your friendships healthy?

Do they uplift, support, enliven and hold space for you?

Or do your friendships drain the hell out of you?

Far too often, we spend more time and focus MAINTAINING the relationship status quo than we do taking a step back and evaluating whether the status quo actually meets our standards… and that’s got to stop.

There is no such thing as having a real friendship with a toxic person. They lack the capacity to engage in that. They are, oftentimes, emotionally charged, self-centered, victim oriented, resentful people who are so caught up in their own dramas that it isn’t even a thought or a care to wonder how you’re doing in you own life.

And it isn’t just that toxic friends lack the capacity to show up for you (because they do). They also lack the willingness. There’s a sense, in these types of people, that they should be the center of attention, that life should come down to what they need and what they want in the moment, that everyone should stop whatever they’re doing to make them feel better about their lives. Toxic friends don’t see the problem in this and they will gaslight you into believing the same.

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Kassandra Vaughn

* Mindset Coach | Author | Soon-to-be Therapist * On a mission to help women 40 and above rebuild their self-worth & reclaim their power.