7 Signs You’re Emotionally Overinvesting in Toxic Friendships

Kassandra Vaughn
4 min readJan 22

Are your friendships healthy?

Do they uplift, support, enliven and hold space for you?

Or do your friendships drain the hell out of you?

Far too often, we spend more time and focus MAINTAINING the relationship status quo than we do taking a step back and evaluating whether the status quo actually meets our standards… and that’s got to stop.

There is no such thing as having a real friendship with a toxic person. They lack the capacity to engage in that. They are, oftentimes, emotionally charged, self-centered, victim oriented, resentful people who are so caught up in their own dramas that it isn’t even a thought or a care to wonder how you’re doing in you own life.

And it isn’t just that toxic friends lack the capacity to show up for you (because they do). They also lack the willingness. There’s a sense, in these types of people, that they should be the center of attention, that life should come down to what they need and what they want in the moment, that everyone should stop whatever they’re doing to make them feel better about their lives. Toxic friends don’t see the problem in this and they will gaslight you into believing the same.

What’s worse- Toxic friends are great at attracting empaths into their friendship circle. Empaths feel deeply and they want to help others as best they can… often to the detriment of their own physical, mental and emotional health.

So you have a toxic person who’s a taker and an empath who’s a giver and the parasitic relationship goes on and on because it’s the toxic person’s natural tendency to take and the empath’s natural tendency to give… and the toxic person will suck the life out of the empath and then go to the next victim.

Nothing about a toxic friendship works out… for EITHER person.

So… how do you know you’re overly investing in a toxic friendship?

Here are 7 signs:

Sign #1: You drop everything to run to your friend’s rescue…

Kassandra Vaughn

* Mindset Coach | Author | Soon-to-be Therapist * On a mission to help women 30 and above rebuild their self-worth & reclaim their power.