5 Things Grief Takes, 5 Lessons Loss Brings

Kassandra Vaughn
5 min readSep 6

Grief… it’s a loaded word containing volumes of emotion…

And when you’re the person going through it, there’s nothing anyone else can say to make you feel any less pain. They can tell you that you it hurts because it mattered. They can remind you that where there is deep grief, there is deep love.

But, they cannot walk through the dark night of the soul that now becomes your life after loss… at least for a time.

They can’t take over your uncontrollable sobs, your twilight zone days, the moments you reach for the phone to make a call… only to realize that the person you love won’t be there to answer.

They can’t walk the journey of loss in your shoes… or even by your side.

They can do their best to comfort you. They can remind you that everything’s going to be okay… one day. But, here’s the thing: Today, everything is NOT okay… and it’s okay for you to be pissed about that.

Today, nothing may make sense. Today, nothing might feel good. Today, no future vision may be possible… and that is today… YOUR today… and that’s okay.

So how do you manage the grief?

How do you feel it but not let it take over your very life? How do you find acceptance for a present you had no idea would be this bad as you reach for some shred of hope that tomorrow can somehow be better?

You sit in a space of radical acceptance for the 5 things grief takes and the 5 lessons loss brings.

Here they are…

Grief takes:

1. A possible future.

2. An enduring connection.

3. A meaningful purpose.

4. An ability to hide from your emotions.

5. Every excuse you’ve ever had for NOT living the life you came here to live.

Kassandra Vaughn

* Mindset Coach | Author | Soon-to-be Therapist * On a mission to help women 30 and above rebuild their self-worth & reclaim their power.