3 Ways to Increase Your Self-Worth Without Changing Anything In Your Life
Low self-worth shows through in everything a person does.
No matter how much you might think you’re hiding it well, your lack of self-worth transmits an energy, a vibe that is felt by every person you come in contact with… and there is no covering it up. Makeup won’t hide it. An expensive suit won’t cover it up. Not even an advanced degree will help you escape the truth of what you live with on a daily basis: you don’t feel good enough.
So… If you can’t do a makeover to improve your self-worth, if you can’t acquire enough degrees to increase your self-worth, if you can’t exercise, work, or network your way to a higher level of self-worth, what the heck do you do?
You force yourself to level up from the inside out.
What does that entail?
1. Stop defining your worth by the extent to which other people value you.
One of my favorite quotes says “Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” It’s time to stop seeing yourself the way other people see you. There will be MANY people who will NEVER see how valuable you are, many who will never acknowledge that you are an asset in their lives. Accept that fact. It should never be your goal to be everything to everyone. You are NOT pizza.
Instead, decide what you’re worth, right here, right now. Decide what you deserve, right here, right now. And make that decision UNCONDITIONAL. The moment you can make up your own mind about your self-worth (and make that estimation unconditional) is the same moment you stop allowing others dictate what you’re worth.
2. Define your self-worth by aspects of you that are eternal.
So many people define themselves by qualities they possess that are bound to change: beauty, fitness, holding a certain role, or how others view you. All of those things are bound to change. At some point, you’re going to get old and your looks will change. At some point, you might step down as CEO of your company and no longer be called an ‘executive.’ At some point, you might have all of your children grow up and move out of the house and you’ll no longer be a ‘stay-at-home mom.’ When you tie your self-worth to any of these things, you are bound to lose yourself when those characteristics change or fade.
So… you’ve got to define your self-worth by aspects of you that exist for all time. Are you kind? Are you inquisitive? Are you ambitious? Are you driven? Are you loving? Are you a nurturer? Are you curious? Are you someone who loves going on adventures? Are you someone who fights for the underdog? All of those things are YOU- they’re who you are and how you show up for life (and not in any specific situation). You can now build your sense of self around those eternal qualities that represent YOU- and whether you’re 20 or 80, those characteristics won’t change.
When you define your self-worth by the qualities of your eternal nature, you are able to see yourself with a high level of self-worth because self-worth is no longer about what you do; it now becomes about who you are…
3. Think, speak and talk like someone with high self-worth.
What you think, speak and say to yourself will determine who you become in life. Period. There is no getting around that. You can’t have a shitty inner life and expect your outer life to be spectacular. It doesn’t work that way. At the end of the day, high self-worth will never come by internally beating yourself up while externally driving yourself to achieve. Overachieving out of a sense of not-enoughness gets you more of the feeling of never being enough. At the end of the day, until you can address yourself with the level of respect, regard and appreciation that you keep expecting from other people, your level of self-worth will stay exactly where it’s at. To raise your self-worth, you have to start having a different conversation with yourself- one that affirms and elevates you. Remember: your inner critic is not a mission to lift you up; it’s on a mission to tear you down… always. Choose your thoughts and words wisely…